We’ve all been there, right? It’s 30 minutes until guests arrive, or until you’re due at a potluck, and you lift the wooden spoon to your lips to taste the sauce you’re sure you’ve perfected and…
Blech.
Too much salt. A rotten ingredient. Bad technique.
Or perhaps you picked a challenging recipe in hopes of upping your culinary skills and the results weren’t quiet what you were hoping. Julia Child, you are not. Yet.
Yesterday I wanted to make Italian Buttercream a.k.a. The Real Deal Frosting. Of course, there are equally delicious buttercreams—French, Swiss and American, however I’ve never even tried them. Each uses eggs, and in the case of the Italian, meringue, which is then drizzled with a sugar syrup and beaten with butter.
Sigh.
Eggs? Sugar? Butter? Heaven? Possibly.
Alas, it was not to be.
My first try turned into sugar-egg soup. My second try flopped as well. For my third? I reverted to Easy Decorator Buttercream. Sigh. My dreams of perfecting the light, buttery goodness were dashed.
So, I came up with some tips for dealing either with a Culinary Unicorn (for me—anything that involves cooking sugar) or a challenging recipe.
Tips for Preventing and Overcoming Kitchen Failure:
1. I know it sounds simple but read the recipe thoroughly. Look up any techniques you might be unsure of in other cookbooks or on YouTube. YouTube has a wealth of culinary videos. Make sure you have all the equipment and ingredients.
2. Have a back up plan. Seriously. I knew that the prognosis for the buttercream wasn’t high, so I picked up the ingredients for an easy frosting. Giving yourself an out reduces stress.
3. If you’re cooking for a dinner party try only one difficult recipe. If it’s an hors d’oeuvres make the others simple: olives, cheese, bread, tapenades. If it’s the main course make the sides easy. A showstopper dessert (like Opera Cake…oh my…) is best displayed at the end of an easy, elegant meal. I like the Barefoot Contessa’s philosophy of entertaining the best: when you’re giving a party you should have fun, too.
4. Take a break. Get out of the kitchen. Believe me—some of my most…uhm, volatile…emotional breakdowns have happened in the kitchen. Poor husband—he is often the subject of my wrath for no other reason than being there to witness the debacle.
5. Along with #4, try to find the humor in the situation. Or if that’s impossible, 3rd Rock From the Sun or XKCD usually work for me.
I’m not saying it’s easy, especially for those of us that love to cook and experiment in the kitchen, and more so, love to share our creations with others. Take it philosophically. Cooking takes practice, and the willingness to practice and fail are what distinguishes adequate cooks from good ones. Technique takes time to learn.
So keep trying, keep cooking or baking or confection making.
And have pizza delivery on dial.
Fail-Safe Frosting: Beat 1.5 c. of shortening and .5 c. of butter until fluffy. Add, to taste, up to 8 cups powdered sugar. Add up to 6 oz of whipping cream, 1 tsp. salt, and 1 tsp vanilla and beat until desired consistency and taste.
Kitten approved!
